Life Lessons -- 25 Years Later

I grew up in Abilene, Texas. My parents still live in the house they bought before I was a year old. So, I went to school in Abilene from kindergarten (not a “grade in public school at that time), through my two years at Abilene Christian University. I did earn an Associates Degree from ACU in word processing – computers where “the thing” in 1985.

I went to first grade a Reagan Elementary (John H., not Ronald, this was in the 70’s). Then, due to redistricting, we were then bused over to Austin elementary. Austin was in a more affluent area of town, and the parents were not happy about our less fortunate families inter-mingling with their kids. So, elementary school was not fun. We were made fun of, picked on and even given a name “The Bus Kids”. So, my group of friends consisted mainly of the kids that rode the bus from our neighborhood. Of those kids, there were three of us that went to first grade at Reagan and made it all the way through high school graduation together. The other two were Allen Rose and Scott Kirkland.

Scott is on the top row, 3rd from the teacher with the red tie. I am on the middle row with the cute Raggedy Ann and Andy jumper and red shirt.

If we were in school today, Scott and I would be call frienemies (I am not sure about the spelling on this new term). We saw each other on an almost daily basis during the school year. We waited at the bus stop together in all kinds of weather and rode the bus to and from school. Because my last name was “J” and his was “K”, we were seated together whenever a teacher thought it was necessary to put us in alphabetical order. Scott and I never had crushes or romantic interests in each other (or, at least I didn’t, if Scott did, I never knew it). But, we definitely had a love/hate relationship – much like a brother and sister. We could argue well, and we did it often. We even had one teacher who recommended we be on the debate team because we were both so adept at arguing. But, despite our arguing, Scott was one of my best friends. He was the guy I bounced things off of. We talked endlessly about our crushes and romances and learned about the mindset of the opposite sex from each other. Stan and Kathy were two of our favorite subjects. I could talk to Scott about almost anything. Except . . .
Scott was a devote Baptist! Our favorite subject to argue about was religion. We were both Christian, so you would think that we could just get along. However, we both strongly disagreed about the other’s interpretation of the Bible. I don’t even remember specifics about the discussions. I do know that one of my favorites was whether or not baptism is necessary for salvation.

I have thought of Scott often over the years. Especially in regard to one of my biggest personal struggles. But, I will get to that later. I know a little about who Scott is now because we have recently reconnected on Face Book. I do think Scott and I learned some very important things from each other, and I also believe that God put us together for a reason. We both married people that share our faith. That is the biggest thing I learned from Scott, I wanted to marry someone who agreed with me 100% on the “big issues”. I wanted to raise my kids with a spouse that would help me teach them what was right. Another thing I brought from our friendship is that I now have a passion for teaching others. I love to research a Biblical topic and teach someone else what it means to me. Scott is now a professor and a preacher (Baptist school – Baptist church). I wonder if he uses the skills of persuasion he learned from our many sessions. I often think of us slouched in the bus seat with our knees pressed against the seat in front of us passionately discussing our beliefs about God.

So, what is my struggle? Should I have close friendships with Christians of different beliefs? If you read my blog about Christmas, you learned a little about how I feel on some of the old the Church of Christ views. I am trying to listen to God about some of those traditions and form my own beliefs, not just following the leader (church leaders in this case). I am no longer willing to say that you have to go to the “Church of Christ” to go to heaven. But, I still struggle with forming deep friendships with people who don’t believe the same as I do; especially when my kids are involved in the relationship. As I struggle I think of Scott and the life skills I learned from him. So, I have studied. I have read, in Acts 10, about Peter, the sheet full of animals and his visit with Cornelius. I have prayed.

In one of Lee Strobel’s books, he talks about exclusivity and how it is necessary for you to believe 100% what you believe. You cannot believe 100% that the sky is blue, but agree with someone else that it is red. And, I do think that is true. The Bible says we should love the Lord with all of our heart, all of our soul, all of our mind and all of our strength. How can you do that and say “it’s okay if they believe different” we can all go to heaven together anyway. Can you believe 100% in marriage between a man and a woman, and, at the same time believe that it is okay for your best friend to have affairs, or, for your brother to be in a gay relationship? No, but you can believe with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength that what you are living and teaching is 100% what God wants you to live and teach. You know this from continual study, prayer and faith. And, once in a while, you may discover that you believed something that is not what God wants and God will teach you a new lesson. And, sometime, God taught you a lesson many years ago, and you are just now “getting it”. Sometimes those lessons come from a discussion with someone that we disagree with. Maybe that is one of the reasons the Bible is what it is. It inspires discussion, learning, stretching.

I believe 100% what I believe. I also know that I have a lot to learn. Therefore, I will continue to be friends with people that God puts in my path. I will seek to surround myself (and my kids) with people who help inspire my beliefs. And, Scott, if you love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength – I’ll see you in heaven!