Just a Mom

I have met a new friend here in Alabama. Stephanie has two boys who are also 4 years apart. Hers are 7 and 3. Last year she took a job as a teacher at the private school here behind our house (she was a teacher before she became a mom). Anyway, the kids did not like her working. Her 7 year old told her "I want you to be 'just a mom'." I have contemplated this phrase, "Just a Mom" since she told me this story.

Just a Mom. That is what I am. God put it on my heart before I ever married that I wanted to be Just a Mom. Then, he gave me a husband that worked very hard to get us there, and works hard to keep me Just a Mom. At first I thought it was kinda like being Just the President, or, Just the Pope. You know, a real understatement. But, then I realized that almost everything I do works back to the fact that I am a mom. That is who I am. Especially with preschoolers. Because raising our boys are the most important job Shanon and I will ever do, even being a wife is almost always tied into being a mom. (One nice thing about having your tubes snipped. Now, at least one part of being a wife has NOTHING to do with being a mom -- especially not becoming a mom, again! And, Ladies, it is true what they say about women in their 40's!)

So, here I am, living my life's dream to be Just a Mom. I wish someone had told me it would be so hard. But, I wouldn't have listened. I know, I have tried to tell others who live this dream -- they also have stars in their eyes. This is the hardest job I have ever done. I am on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I get vacation, my job goes with me, gets all wound up, eats too much and throws up on my vacation outfit. It is nothing like I imagined it would be. My house was going to be always clean. I was going to do church work and be an important part of what was going on. I was going to make every day an adventure for my kids. Well, my house is a disaster (even when I haven't just moved in). I can clean a room, and in less than 5 minutes it can look worse than when I started. I had to give up church work because God taught me a huge lesson in Tyler that my most important job is the Lord's work inside my own 4 walls -- what is happening at "the building" comes next. And adventure? We went to Target yesterday (a 40 minute drive now) so that Talon could buy two new Ben 10 action figures with is own money. That was our biggest adventure of the week. But, that is part of being Just a Mom, recognizing that anything a kids calls "just" is important. They don't mean "just" like it is the least important. They mean "just" as in there is nothing else. "Just go to Target" means that is what will make his day unforgettable. "Just stay home a play" means he needs the security of being in a familiar surrounding. "Just pigs in a blanket" for dinner means it is a meal that he can help mom cook, even if he hates wieners. And, "Just a Mom" means that I am devoted to him and will always be there when he needs me. And that, my friends, is what I wanted when I decided to be Just a Mom. I wanted to be the one in their life that they always come to. The first one they think of when something happens in their life. The safety net when they make a mistake. To free up some of Dad's time so that he can be these things to the boys who will become men. Then, some day, they will meet someone more important than me. And, with that girl, they can build a happy family devoted to each other. This is my prayer now.

By the way, my friend, Stephanie, is not teaching this year. I applaud all of you out there who stay home with your kids. And, I praise the dad's who support this for your kids. My parents did it for me. And, they gave up a lot more that I have. We didn't live on a shoestring, we went without shoestrings because we couldn't afford them. (Okay, it wasn't that bad). But, one of my parents was always available, and still is. Thank you, Mother for all you gave up. For all of the foster kids you kept so that you could be home with us. Thank you for stretching a dollar farther than possible. I know it would have been more fun to be almost anywhere else! And, Daddy, thank you for working hard to provide for us. Most of the time I remember, you were fighting fires. Helping others when you couldn't be home helping us. You have up 1/3 of everything we did (24 hrs on, 48 hrs off), so that Mother could be there and we lived comfortable. But, I can't say I ever needed you that you were not available. You will always be my favorite shoulder to cry on! (Johnson Motto: No one cries alone, no one eats alone!)

So, I am JAM -- the stuff squeezed between wife and mother. The stuff squeezed between two boys. I am so thankful that God is in here with me! Some days prayer is the only thing that gets me through.

Today, most moms work. Being Just a Mom is rare. I am even told, by moms who have done both, that it is easier to take care of the day to day, house, kid stress, etc. if you have a job. Each family has to make decisions. Shanon and I waited 15 years to have kids so I could be JAM. But, it can't be easy to miss out on the little events in your child's life. Did you know that 90% of motherhood involves some kind of wiping? Well, I have to go now . . . one of my boys is needing help in the bathroom . . .